A: I missed the TV news last night. What was on?
B: Nothing that would pass as news.
A: What's the weather going to be like this weekend?
B: I don't know. Whenever the weather comes on, I switch channels.
A: What was the lead story on the news?
B: Some actress was in court for driving without a license.
A: What was the second story?
B: Some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter.
A: What was the third story?
B: A bull chased a man in a supermarket.
A: Wasn't there anything about Octo-Mom?
B: Of course. She's going to hire a nanny for her eight infants.
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